Personal Post: I Have Become El Asso Wipo

Several friends commented that my first couple posts are rather heavy. That is undoubtedly going to remain the case. I am a heavy dude.

Seriously, this blog is my way of talking about subjects and thoughts that nobody in my daily life typically has the time or interest in listening to (and there are the references to speaking again!). I’m imagining that there is an audience out there interested in these topics.

That being said, it’s not all deep. For example . . .

My son has been diagnosed with high functioning autism, which will most likely be translated into an Asberger’s Syndrome diagnosis as he gets older. He’s smart, loving, and wonderful.

He also loves routine and is slowly mastering certain life skills. Recently he made a breakthrough with his potty training. He graduated from pull-ups and night time diapers and rarely has an accident during the day or evening. This is a big step of which he and we are justifiably proud.

However, he either does not grasp or does not approve of the idea of wiping his own bottom after Number 2. He does recognize that this is a necessary step, but he insists upon me performing it. Given that he shows a remarkable talent for delaying his urges until he is at home or I am nearby and that I usually have several other things going on when he requests this service (“Daddy! Come wipe my bottom!”) he often gets his way.

(As a result I do possess a knowledge of my son’s bowel movements and stool on par with that of a medieval physician perusing the effluence of a noble client.)

Thus, I am truly “El Asso Wipo, wiper of other people’s bottoms.” (Those of you who used to watch Mad TV will get the reference. For the rest, here’s a pertinent link—scroll down to find the name on the list of recurring characters. For those unfamiliar with Mexican wrestling, here's some more context.)

Not a title I aspired to, but one I bear with pride. Now to learn how to "break people's backs on my knee, like so."