ALL YOUR SPARTANS ARE BELONG TO US

In honor of the asswhipping North Carolina delivered to Michigan State in the NCAA men's title game last night, I have a guest post from a diehard Tarheel pal of mine:

That was the Baskin-Robbins of Win. I would first like to yield thirty seconds to former Governor of Vermont and Chairman of the Democratic National Committee, Howard Dean:

YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIII

IIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you, Governor. The first twenty-five minutes were a motherfucking exhibition. There are no other words for that. After that of course we got slow, and sloppy with the ball, terribly so between about the 13 and 5 minute mark of the second half, and basically played level before we woke back up and decided to shut it down for good. Michigan State showed real dignity and bearing to not just fall apart completely. We maintained what we had to, even during the sloppy patch to get the job done, which let us FIE UPON YOU, YOU OF THE SPARTAN CLAN! WE SUNDER THE SHARP POINTY STICKS OF YOUR CAMPGROUND! YOUR ANIMAL SPIRITS GIVE THEIR POWER TO US NOW! YOUR HUNT SHALL WITHER LIKE YOUR SPEARS! NOW WE WILL FEAST ON YOUR MAMMOTH FAT AND TAKE YOUR WOMEN!!! YARRRRRRRHHH!!! I'm sorry, was I saying something? I seem to have blacked out for a moment. Ellington had a big, indeed a brilliant, first half, as one of our guys has typically done down this stretch. Davis didn't screw up (much.) Lawson did it all and got whisker-close to a triple double (points, steals, and assists, a pretty sweet triple it would have been) with quiet style. And Psycho-T got his title, the one he earned last year already before our program's worst twenty minutes of high-stakes basketball since the second half against Marquette in '77 got in the way. We made up for that now. Hope y'all had fun as recreational viewers. A bit dull for the last ten minutes I'd guess but before that some quality ball from one side, at least. I'm happy for him, though I would have liked to see a more competitive game.